Monday, September 3, 2012

A new chapter

I've been thinking lately about how life is so much like a book. There are periods in life when it is like coming to the end of a chapter in a book and we start a new chapter.

I have a weird habit. If I really like a book, I will occasionally pull it off the shelf and read the ending or certain parts in the book that were especially good. We do that with life also. Reminisce about the good times, and usually avoid parts (or chapters) that were not so good.

I just closed a chapter in my life. I had worked at my last job for 2 1/2 years. I liked what I did most of the time, but the place was really getting to me. I had never worked Sundays until I worked there, and had to work too many, and when I did work a Sunday it messed things up. I had to race out of church so I had time to eat before I went in. There is no nice way to put it, but the owner is a jerk. He goes off on people about the smallest thing, and is like a powder keg. His nephew, age 21 or 22, is an arrogant, spoiled brat (his parents pay for EVERYTHING - gas for his car, his cell phone bill, even his golf). There are certain things he just won't do at work. During my time there, there were many times I knew of, and I am sure times I didn't know of, that he claimed credit for things I had done, and blamed me for things that were done wrong or not done at all. This same arrogant kid was getting at least $4 more an hour than me, and it sounds like it was even more than that. Often, I had to pick up his slack and do things he was supposed to have done.

This past Friday, I finally had it, and quit on the spot. I know it is best to have something lined up before you quit a job, and I have nothing lined up, but I am hoping for the best. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I dreaded going to work, especially if I knew the boss was going to be around. It is no fun working somewhere that you aren't valued, and the boss seems to take pleasure in ripping people apart, whether it be me, fellow co-workers, or vendors.

I have no idea what is in this next chapter, or how long it will be. Life is a bit scary when facing a new chapter, when facing the unknown, but blank pages can also be refreshing and challenging. There is hope that the next chapter will be the best yet. That I find the best job I have ever had, meet new friends, find out what God has in store for me.

There has been this strong urging within me for a couple of months, to put in my two weeks notice. It seemed to be from God, but I struggled over the decision. I wanted a job lined up before I did that. I wanted certainty, not uncertainty. I ignored that urging. I doubt God wants us to quit a job on the spot, but had I listened to that urging, I would have been out of there by now and not quit on the spot.

Am I worried and fearful? Maybe a bit, but not a lot. Truthfully, I feel such a relief. It is like being held hostage and suddenly you have been freed. My former employer has no authority or hold on me now. I am free from him and his demands and mean words.

I wish I could take a pen and write my own book, write the next chapter the way I want it to go, but we can't do that. I would ask for prayer that I find the right job in the right place. I wish I could write my own dream into being. My dream? To own and run a bookstore with a coffee shop/cafe' attached. Maybe some day, if electronic books don't make regular books extinct.

My next job may not be my dream job, but I hope and pray it is right for me, and that I can finally get my own place again and be on my own again. I can't wait to see what this next chapter holds.