Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Not Quite Healed 40 Truths for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe

Survivors of sexual abuse face a long road to recovery. With every bump and bruise and setback, they may wonder if total healing is even possible. In fact, the feeling that “I should be healed by now” is one that every survivor will have to deal with at some time. A survivor himself, Cecil Murphey writes, “I absolutely affirm that God can produce such a miracle. I don’t know of any, but I still think that it is possible.”

So how are survivors to overcome the challenges they are sure to face? Finding strength in community with other survivors is one key to recovery. In Not Quite Healed, two survivors join forces to share insight and encouragement on the issues that challenge them most. After a candid discussion about each issue, the authors provide a self-affirming statement that men can study, memorize, and recite on their darkest days—statements such as:
-Forgiveness is a difficult task for me, but it’s a simple thing for God.
-Accountability is the first step to livability.
-God wants to heal my pain to bring healing to others.
Whether men are struggling with relying on God, living behind a mask, dealing with flashbacks and recurring dreams, or learning to forgive, Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe offer hope and comfort for the ongoing journey of recovery from sexual abuse.

My review:
   First a "disclaimer": I have never been sexually molested. I reviewed this book solely for the purpose to help with the publicity to get the word out about it.

   The book was written by two men who were sexually abused as children by adults. They don't give much details about the abuse, but focus more on the effect it has had on them, and still has on them. Though I could not relate, I felt they approached it in a very compassionate and informative way. They offer no quick fixes, and in fact say it is a long and painful process.

  The book is sad. They reference their own experiences and the experiences of others they have talked with and dealt with. We all know it happens, but to read about real people who went through it is an eye opener that isn't pleasant.

  Something I walked away with is the fact that kids that are,  or feel unloved are targets of predators. The lonely kid that is starving for attention. It can happen to any kid, but those are the kids that are ripe for the picking for predators. Parents need to keep their kids close and supervised, and be very careful who they let them around. Sadly in today's world, very young kids need warned about the dangers of sexual predators, as they are often close friends or family members. You can't keep your kids in a plastic bubble, but you can guard them better.

  The authors do offer a lot of helpful and Biblical advice for victims of sexual abuse. If you are a victim, or know someone that is, this would be an excellent and helpful book.

  About the authors:

Cecil Murphey has written or coauthored more than one hundred books, including the autobiography of Franklin Graham, Rebel with a Cause and the New York Times best-seller 90 Minutes in Heaven. Cecil lives in Georgia.

Gary Roe has been in full-time ministry for thirty years, serving as a college minister, a church-planting missionary in Japan, and a pastor in Texas and Washington. He currently works as a hospice chaplain and interim pastor in Central Texas. He writes a weekly newspaper column and is the co-author (with Cecil Murphey) of Saying Goodbye: Facing the Loss of a Loved One. He has three adopted Colombian daughters who are also abuse survivors.

Check out Cecil's blog/wesbite http://menshatteringthesilence.blogspot.com/

Not Quite Healed 40 Truths for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse is available from Kregel Publishing.

Thanks to Kregel for the review copy.