NaBloPoMo Day #4.. jury duty... and jury duty ancedotes

I never get picked for anything good.... but somehow, I won on jury duty. I had to show up last Tuesday for them to pick one. I was sure I was going to go free... They picked 8 to start, excused two, replaced them, then called alternate #1. Then called alternate #2. His hearing was horrible, so they called up another guy, excused him. And another, and a third... and then "Mark Buzard." Yeah, that's me. Sigh. And alternate does not mean I get to stay home - no, I have to go every day. And the better news.... this type of trial, civil, usually lasts a few days. This one could go for two weeks - already have a week in.

The bad: this is a boring trial. Very boring.

The good: It is educational. I have never been in a court room, so it has been interesting to see what goes on.

My fellow jurors are fun. There are 3 guys total, and the rest are women, and most of them are hilarious. I have a blast with them while we are in the jury room. And there have been "moments"....

Day one of jury duty: We go from the court room into the jury room for a morning break - the judge brings donuts, cookies, etc... Anyway, there is a bathroom in the jury room, but there were 10 of us. Considerate little me decides to go use the men's down the hallway. I open the door to go use it, and the following takes place....

Mrs Baliff (yes, I call her that) "Where do you think you're going?" Me "to the restroom" Mrs. Baliff "No, you can't leave this room. You have to use the bathroom in here." Me (meekly) - "yes ma'am" :-)

And another ancedote:

Mrs Baliff, counting to make sure we all are present "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9... who is missing?" We look around, and someone says "Uh, no one" She counts again and comes up with 10. I speak up "So, you don't have to know how to count to be a baliff huh?" - earns me a smile and a smack on the shoulder.


A sequel to that... I was the last back from lunch on Friday, opened the door, walked in, and Mrs Baliff and the other jurors burst into laughter. I grinned and asked what I did now. Mrs. Baliff had just counted and said she was glad I wasn't there or I would have made a smart remark, and in I walked at that moment. By the way. Mrs. Baliff's name is Linda.

There is also a young girl who was helping the baliff out one day. I called her the "baliffette" - yes, to her face, but I also call Linda "Mrs Baliff" to her face.

Moving on....

Me - "Mrs Baliff, since this is Halloween week, can we wear a costume tomorrow?" Mrs Baliff: "I thought you were already wearing a mask and costume". Zing!

Onto today...

On Friday, I was filling my water bottle from the water cooler by the door. Mrs. Baliff opens the door to enter, and the door hits me on the arm. I played it up, grabbing my arm, moaning in pain that I would have to go home because it hurt so much. Mrs. Baliff laughed, shook her head and said "It just had to happen to him of all people!"

She got me back though... today, I opened the door and hit her on the arm, so she grabbed her arm and moaned in pain and said she'd have to go home. I offered to be baliff in her place. :-)


I can't remember all of the funny comments and stories we jurors have told and said, but we really do have fun in the jury room. I feel like I have a big grin on my face when I walk into the court room because most of the time, someone has just made a hilarious remark that had us laughing. So it isn't all bad.

And conveniently, the courthouse is like 5 minutes from my house, so most days, I come home for lunch. Today, I went out to lunch with 5 of the ladies, which was fun. One of my fellow jurors is Ruth, age 62, who is a riot, and had to a fireball when she was young. She keeps us in stitches, and I love to pick on her. I pointed at her and told our waitress that Grandma had taken us all out for lunch. Ruth reached over and pulled my ear in retaliation and tried to push me off the bench. I got the last word though... as the 6 of us crossed the street to the courthouse, I spoke up "It was nice going out to eat with you 4 lovely ladies." Putting my arm around Ruth, I said " and it was nice going out to eat with you also, Ruth." Ah, such good times!