NaBloPoMo Day #11... My own personal "f" and "s" words

So what are my own personal "f" and "s" words? Football and sports. In that order. I cannot see the attraction. Watching a bunch of guys in weird outfits fighting over a weird-shaped ball? And guys you don't even know?! Wow - how exciting. Excuse me while I go watch a quilting bee to see who is the fastest quilter.....

Besides my above opinion, I do have a deep seated hatred of sports, and football in particular.

I grew up around mostly girls. Most of the boys in my life picked on me - even some of my male cousins. My dad hit a softball with me some and played catch, but sports just never caught on with me.

I still  remember when suddenly all of my male classmates became interested/obsessed with sports. I felt left behind, not experiencing that. And it got worse. I went to a small Christian school, and when I entered 7th grade, gym class became a requirement. How I wish it hadn't....

Some may disagree with me - and that's ok. You're an idiot. Just kidding... but think about what I say next: I believe it is 100% wrong and cruel to force a kid to play a sport for gym class. Can I repeat that? Ok - I will : I believe it is 100% wrong and cruel to force a kid to play a sport for gym class. Don't write me off, I will explain.

I was always picked on to some extent, but once sports entered the picture, it got worse. No one wanted me on their team, but since I was forced to play, I had to be on someone's team, so that meant that I was the last person to be picked. Always. Every time. Until soccer.... more on that later.

The bullying and picking on increased, and all these years later, I still believe most of it was due to my lack of interest in sports and my lack of ability in playing those sports. Week after week, I was forced to do so, never pulling more than a "C" in gym class/pyhsical ed. Does it not seem unfair to grade a kid on his poor abilities in sports - something he did not like? And the worse I did, the more I was singled out to be picked on. The teacher would leave the room, and I was fair game. I still remember being held down by a couple of boys when I was in about 8th grade while one of my cousins tried to shove a pencil up my nose. I managed to fight them off - but this was my cousin......

Softball and basketball were bad enough, but then along came football. No one had ever taught me to play, I was just thrown into the game, forced to play, because it was football season and God forbid we not bow to the god of football...... The more I had to play it, the more I hated it. By the time I had a faint idea of how to play the game, I had developed an extreme hatred of the game, so much that all these years later, it remains. It is such a deep hatred, it is most likely misunderstood by others. But you see, when one is bullied and picked on to the point I was, to the point that I am still scarred inside, where no one can see, still feeling like a lost kid who no one likes, who no one wants on their team - and mostly because of football and other sports - it makes a lot of sense.

Soccer was different. I was thrown into it and forced to play it also, and disliked it also, but I caught on faster. I was fairly fast and really good with my feet, and to my shock, they wanted me on their team. I excelled at soccer.. I wasn't just good at it. Sadly, that period was brief in my life, as soccer wasn't the "in" thing to play much.

One more story about sports and its effect on me. I was 26 years old, and had just had one of the most devesating moments in my life. Something that still affects me. I was reeling. My brother-in-law talked me into going along with him to play softball. Unfortunately, the man in charge had no patience for averageness. All that mattered was winning. He yelled at me for the way I held my bat, and for swinging at the wrong times. Then the outfield time came...... The batter was up, I was on third base. He told the short stop to get it, as it would come his way. It came mine. I stepped aside to let the short stop get it. I think he missed - don't remember that part. What I DO remember is being lit into for not going after the ball. I didn't say a word, but walked quietly off the field. I doubt he even noticed.

But this was more than a vulnerable 26-year-old getting his feelings hurt. It was reliving those horible teenage years. Years of being made fun of, picked on, of being stuck out in right field because they had to put me somewhere... of being the last one picked.

Some would say I should have stuck with it. I disagree. Sports had hurt me for the last time. I went home and sold my ball glove at a yard sale we had shortly after and made a vow that I have kept: I would never, ever play softball again. Or any other sport. Oh, I throw the ball to my nephews, but never again will I participate in a game of softball. I even tend to avoid volleyball - an easy sport. Why? Because sports hold too many bad memories for me. I have been hurt, and hurt badly because of this god of America. This thing that is so much more important to people than how they treat others and make them feel.

I admit some of my feelings are extreme and amaze people - that is ok. Not many people would get it. But really, what is more important - sports, or people? If you say sports, then you need help.

I'm honestly not bitter. I am vocal about sports, but if you could see inside me, see the scars, see what I have to deal with, a lot in part because of being picked on due to sports - it would make sense.

I would like to close this post with some advice. If your kid isn't interested in sports, don't force him or her to be. Let them have their own interests. And if you are a teacher... never, ever force a kid to play a sport. It is wrong, and it could lead to some permanent scarring.

Many will disagree with me. It has been said that sports is the god of America - and it does seem that way. I didn't do this post to slam sports or those who love it, but to show in part why I am so anti-sports, and to remind us that sports and winning are never more important than people.